In the silent space of nothingness, my thoughts refuse to dwell.
Always shout to get out, yearning, learning
To escape the void of silent hell.
I’ve learned that it wasn’t love, but lust
Which motivated the boy.
Just another user, a loser and a liar, as well.
I have the courage to forget that past,
Just as he has forgotten me.
Cut the ties which bound me fast
And kept me prisoner in misery.
Shallow surface of mask revealed,
The truth always makes itself known in the end.
And it makes this burden easier to bear,
Knowing I was just gullible,
And fell for a “friend”.
I was just a number to him.
Just another notch on his lust-driven bed.
And yet, if it weren’t for my kindness or love,
It’s likely he could have ended up dead.
But what does that matter to a sadist?
They used us, and they played us,
For the fools we are, blind.
And then some of them wonder why
We have such horrible opinions of their kind?
Because of the selfish users and takers
And the wrecks they thoughtlessly leave behind.
So, this writing serves as my sounding board,
Since the coward doesn’t have the guts to speak.
He’s “safe” in his narcissist’s silent shell,
Uncaring, unwilling to change or seek
The truth that lies behind his mask –
An empty, hollow, lonely boy,
Who uses women to sate his lust
Who treats them all as just another toy.
If it wasn’t so pathetic, I’d laugh.
And take comfort in the knowledge that he’s just a fake.
Common, unworthy, a dime-a-dozen,
Just another lying, lowly snake.
I’m glad that I discovered the truth, at last:
That he wasn’t special, or worth my time.
All my effort was wasted, just another mistake,
No more tears for a sadistic, shallow mime
Whose words and talk were all he was,
With no actions to ever prove them true, or real.
That he wasn’t worth knowing,
That he’s already stopped growing,
Stuck forever a child, and afraid to feel.
All the words out of his mouth, just wind,
He’s always been a fair-weather “friend”.
Real people will eventually stop hearing his voice,
He refuses to open his spiritual eyes,
And lives in a fantasy land he calls ‘home’,
And in the end,
He’ll end up trapped in his lies,
And old and withered, he’ll be all alone.
That’s sad, but that’s his selfish choice.
~ C.L.R. ~ © 2007