I’ve done a lot of inner healing over the past few years, thanks to wonderful friends, family and the love and support of one very good man in particular, who has been key in allowing and helping some of the old wounds to completely heal over. I’ve found wisdom and encouragement in numerous blogs and e-mails and through it all, I’ve tried to keep that “never give up” attitude. I may have posted this before. I honestly don’t remember. But I re-read it again today and it struck a chord. I thought it was worth sharing again.
For those of you out there struggling with something heavy, I hope you find inspiration and a sense of peace in reading it. I remember reading a quote somewhere that said something like, “Be kind to everyone you meet, because everyone is fighting some kind of battle.”
Brightest of blessings to each and every one of you special people. Remember: The Universe (or God or The Goddess, if you prefer) will always have something to teach or show you, if you will only slow down, be still and pay attention…
A time finally comes when you “get it” … when, in the midst of all
your tears and insanity you stop in your tracks and somewhere the voice
inside your head cries out “ENOUGH”!! Enough fighting, crying, guilt and struggling just to hold on.
Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your
tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.
You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to
change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.
You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale
and that any guarantees of “happily ever after” must begin with you …
and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that your lost spouse or friend wasn’t perfect, nor are
and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who
and what you are …and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views
You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in
the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did
or said to you (or didn’t do or say) and you learn that the only thing you can
really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what
they say and that everyone will not always be there for you and that everything isn’t always about you.
So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself …
and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people
they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties (this
does NOT include accepting ABUSE)… and in the process a sense of
peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You learn to open up to new ideas and different points of view. You
begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really want out of the rest of your life.
You learn the difference between WANTING and NEEDING and you begin to
the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown through the grief process (or
should have never brought into it in the first place).
You learn that principles such as honesty and compassion are not
outdated ideals, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your new life.
You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save
world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only
cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get
burned at the stake.
Then you begin to relearn about love. You learn to look at
relationships as they really are and not as you would have them to be. You learn that alone does not necessarily mean lonely.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn
to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting
boundaries and learning to say NO.
You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for
it and treat it with respect. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear and
depression so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body,
laughter fuels our souls. So you take more time to laugh and PLAY.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you TRULY
BELIEVE you deserve, and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that
wishing for something to happen is different than working towards making it
Most importantly, you learn that in order to really “move on” you need
direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one
can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help, whether it be from a friend or a professional.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it under a cloud
of impending doom, gloom and sadness.
You finally ACTUALLY learn that life isn’t always fair – you don’t
get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to
good people … and more importantly, you learn not to always take it
You learn that nobody punished you and everything isn’t
always “somebody’s” fault. It’s just life happening.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment
must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison your whole world.
You learn to be thankful and take comfort in many of the simple
we take for granted – things that millions of people upon the earth can
only dream about – a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft
warm bed, a long hot shower.
Then, you begin to take some responsibility for yourself and by
and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself again and to
never, ever settle for less than your heart’s desire.
You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay
open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a
deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.
~ Author unknown