Upon return, I find I’ve been away too long.
Lost in the depths of this mind,
Or caught in Life’s web of responsibilities.
Yet, life goes on.
Lately, it’s a touch and go thing,
Always doing for others,
Keeping friends, family, strangers
Afloat and alive, and to the best
Of my ability, happy.
But I’ve lost me along the way.
The only time is time already promised,
Already given away,
For the inability to say “No” or “I can’t”.
“Can’t never could”, so I do
Because I can.
It’s only in retrospect that I wonder
If I “should” have.
I cannot save them all,
And must learn to defy
The guilt of inadequacy;
Look it straight in the face,
And be cold enough
To wrest a few, precious moments
If not me, then whom?
There is little justice
When it comes to judging oneself
Against what one thinks others
Touch and go,
Flitting, fitting backdrop
For a bee too busy to stop.
Like the shark,
To stop would be death.
~ C.L.R. ~ © 2009