~ My Sadist ~

In certain quiet, deep moments of night’s blue-black,
My inner, hidden masochist shows her face.
Tip-toeing the thorn-filled memory lane,
Searching for my sadist, once again;
Who says we can never go back?

With each silent, slipped tear of melted ice,
I wonder if you ever think about me?
Do you ever regret the pain you caused?
Do you miss the ‘forever’ your actions lost?
No, for YOU, there WAS no sacrifice.

Bitter dregs of a sad, long-poisoned past,
As much as I hate you, I love you still.
We were perfectly imperfect for one another.
You were a child, and I was a mother.
And I swear each tear for you is my last.

What my masochist doesn’t seem to understand,
Is that I’m much stronger now, than I was with you.
But it doesn’t mean I don’t miss you sometimes,
And wish you were different, on the inside.
Love and Hate are one, in the Sadist’s hand.

If I can ever purge the sick need for this pain,
I can exorcise you from this nostalgic heart.
My sadist, my stumbling block, my lesson,
Still incomplete, and tired of guessing,
Unsatisfying answers; my curiosity’s bane.

~ C.L.R. ~ © 2009

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About dragonkatet

Regarding the blog name, Dragon’s Dreams ~ The name comes from my love-affairs with both Dragons and Dreams (capital Ds). It’s another extension of who I am, a facet for expression; a place and way to reach other like-minded, creative individuals. I post poetry and images that fascinate or move me, because that’s my favorite way to view the world. I post about things important to me and the world in which we live, try to champion extra important political, societal and environmental issues, etc. Sometimes I wax philosophical, because it’s also a place where I always seem to learn about myself, too, by interacting with some of the brightest minds, souls and hearts out there. It’s all about ‘connection(s)’ and I don’t mean “net-working” with people for personal gain, but rather, the expansion of the 4 L’s: Light, Love, Laughter, Learning.
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2 Responses to ~ My Sadist ~

  1. Shashi says:

    ‘Love and Hate are one, in the Sadist’s hand.’ how true.. its a wonderful post. I liked it so much.. thanks for sharing…

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/01/whispers-emptiness-and-soul.html

  2. dragonkatet says:

    Thank you, Shashi. 🙂 Life’s and Love’s lessons are often painful, but I think the pain can be a necessary function for growth to occur. Namaste.

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