For week 33 of Jingle’s Poetry Potluck, the theme was Doubts, Fears, Inhibitions and Hesitations. This is my offering to the potluck this week. 🙂
It’s 2:00 a.m. and I should be in bed,
But here I am, awake, instead.
Terrified to go to sleep,
Afraid of nightmares,
In too deep.
Lest I nod off, I leave the lights on.
Because I just can’t sleep
Now that you’re gone.
I’m exhausted beyond my breaking point,
But mental screams of grief
My soul annoint.
They keep me wide awake, you see.
My battered heart won’t
Set me free.
All my body wants is rest and peace,
But my mind won’t allow that
No more waking with my pillow wet from tears.
No more illusions or hope that Love lasts
No more dreams that you’ve come back to stay.
I know I can’t go on
I’ll just stay numb till I pass out,
Or else I’ll feel, and dream
I pay hourly homage to the Java-God,
But his almighty power is waning…
Someday (or night) this body will rebel,
And I’ll be forced to face
This living Hell.
But I’ll do my best to stay awake.
Because this heart cannot more
And it doesn’t matter if I’m insane,
Because at least then
I won’t comprehend
I hate being haunted by the ghost that’s you,
But I just don’t know
What else to do.
I’ve alcohol and marijuana nearby,
I’ve been resisting so far,
They’d only make
I never thought that I could cry so much,
But nights are the hardest,
Without your touch.
If you only knew how much I hate being here,
With sleep as a four-letter word
~ C.L.R. ~