((Remembering My Brother – Yesterday my only brother, Chris, would have been 37 years old. He died in 2001 and I have missed him ever since. I have not been back to the cemetery since the funeral…not because I don’t care…but because I care too much and being there was more ‘real’ than I could handle. I would rather remember him with a smile than with tears. Holidays are hard – they are not the same without him, and of course, his birthday is another reminder.
He was a wonderful, intelligent, handsome, warm and giving young man, so much like my father at times it was uncanny. Chris always had a way of making me smile when I needed it most, and as my only sibling, he understood me better than anyone on the planet. I wish he was here, now. I could use one of his jokes, or hugs…he gave the best bear hugs!
So…every year, on his birthday, I post this poem I wrote for him…in memorium.))
~ For Christopher ~
Today was grey, subdued.
And I felt your spirit near.
Perhaps it was my lonesome heart,
but I could swear I felt you here.
All day long, I thought of you.
And saw you in my mind:
The gentle, laughing, warm brown eyes,
the smile so wise and kind.
I remembered growing up with you,
how you were always there.
And how we were inseparable,
Brody, we were such a pair!
I thought about your laughter,
and your dreams, so big and bright.
All taken away by a shrilling phone,
in the deep stillness of the night.
I remember countless Magic games,
endless walks and talks we shared….
And I wonder if you ever knew,
how much I truly cared.
I cherish that I had you
though it was much too short a while.
Sometimes I can think back on you
and somehow, try to find a smile.
No ocean of tears will bring you back,
my sweet, gentle, laughing brother.
I never wanted to be an only child,
but there will never be another.
I grieved for you today, Christopher,
and I try to smile when I remember.
You may be gone,
but your memory lives on,
on the 25th day of September.
* I miss you, Brody *
~ C.L.R. ~